The Gift
by NinjaShives
Summary: A Kakashi POV during episode 31 of Naruto Shippuden... a "what if" missing scene! One shot.


AN: My first completed fanfic! What began as a 1 page one shot turned into this... I'm not sure how accurate my characterizations are but I'm pretty proud of how this turned out. And I guess this is slightly AU since it's pretty clear that Kakashi could not in fact copy Chiyo's technique, but I felt that his Sharingan being exposed during the scene was a plot bunny that had to be written.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. I do have a Kakashi plushie though!

"Everyone, pray for Chiyo-baasama…"

As I slowly bow my head in honor of a true shinobi, I do a lot more than pray. I thank Chiyo-baasama with every fiber of my being for the gift she has just given me. It's not a gift she gave consciously; you could even argue that I had no right to take it. But there's no escaping the fact that I did.

**10 minutes earlier…**

As soon as I feel her drawing upon a large amount of chakra, my left eye slides open. It only takes a moment for me to realize what the river of chakra flowing seamlessly into the Kazekage's body means. If I hadn't been seeing it with my own eye, I would have never thought it possible. Chakra being used as a physical host for the transfer of life energy. With fascination, I watch an intricate web of chakra being weaved with the precision that could only be from a puppet master.

From what I can see of her chakra network, it's obvious that using this technique would come with fatal consequences. I can sense Neji behind me, and I'm sure he has come to the same conclusion. When Naruto offers his own chakra to the fatigued Chiyo, I tense with worry. It would be just like Naruto to give too much of his chakra… but then Chiyo-baasama is smiling and passing on her wisdom to the young ninja who will surpass those who have come before them, myself included. It was done… the Kazekage will live and lead the Sand Village toward a bright future.

Even in my chakra-depleted state, I've managed to copy the technique… and all of a sudden it hits me. Never again would I watch a comrade die before I do. Gaara is now staring in awe at the mass of Sand shinobi who have come for him when just minutes before he lay dead at our feet. My breath hitches with the realization of the power that I now possess. If only I had known this technique sooner… Obito, Rin, Sensei… I could have…

No, as much as I hate to admit it, their deaths have shaped me into who I am today. What would have happened if even one of them were still alive, with me dead in their place? No one can say. I have no doubt that Chiyo-baasama made the right decision to bring Gaara back to life at the cost of her own. She was atoning for past mistakes and she was already seriously injured… But, how would I know when the time was right? Would it be selfish of me to save the technique for someone important to me? Or should I use it to save the next Leaf shinobi who falls? I am not naïve… I know that my life is more important to the safety of the Leaf Village than most. When would my sacrifice be worth the life of one other?

My mind is reeling with the possibilities… and all of a sudden I feel sick. My vision blurs and the next thing feel is Guy's hand on my shoulder. I'm on my knees, bent over with my hands steadying me. It takes a few seconds for the dry-heaving to stop. Luckily, only Guy and Neji noticed… everyone else's attention was on Gaara.

I wave off Guy's worried look and quickly get control of my emotions. I feel Neji staring at my back, and I know that he's figured it out. He's not called a genius for nothing. I doubt that Guy realizes what I've done… I have to make sure it stays that way.

Hearing Kankuro's explanation of the technique's origin, I immediately understand why it was made forbidden. What I've been thinking for the past few seconds is proof enough that knowledge of this technique should not be shared. I would not willingly put this burden on anyone else. _Chiyo-baasama, I promise you that your technique will die with me_. That was the least I could do, especially since she did not intend to pass it on to me in the first place.

The ever dim-witted Naruto finally realizes that Chiyo-baasama is dead. I wish he could always witness the happy ending that he thinks will happen, but that's not the way life works. At least not the life of a shinobi. Naruto hasn't fully learned that yet, and some part of me hopes he never will. However, I need to make sure he understands just why Chiyo-baasama sacrificed herself.

"Chiyo-baasama has placed the future in yours and Gaara's hands. A splendid end, befitting a true shinobi."

Naruto stands a little taller and responds, "Just like the Third."

Maybe Naruto isn't as slow as I thought. "That's right." He really does understand.

In that moment, seeing Naruto grow just that much more, _I_ finally understand. A sense of calm washes over me. I will know the exact moment to use Chiyo-baasama's life transfer technique, just as she knew. I hope from the bottom of my heart that I will never have to use it, but somehow I know that will not be the case. All I can do is cherish each day that I have to help the next generation of shinobi prepare for the future that they will lead.

Gaara is struggling to his feet, but Naruto grabs his arm to keep the Kazekage from falling. As the two stand side by side, I can see that their strong bond will keep the Sand and Leaf Villages allied for many years to come. Chiyo-baasama not only died for the Kazekage and the Sand Village, she also died for the safety of the Leaf Village that an alliance with the Sand will ensure. Gaara's next words echo my own thoughts…

"Everyone pray for Chiyo-baasama."

******************************************

As everyone prepares for the journey back to the Sand Village, I'm left to sit idly while Guy and Lee help put together a stretcher for Chiyo-baasama. My forehead protector is back in its usual position, preventing my Sharingan from further draining my exhausted body. Light footsteps approach me from behind. I don't have to turn around to know who it is. He's standing next to me now, and I can feel his penetrating stare trying to read my well hidden emotions.

"You were able to copy it." He doesn't phrase it as a question.

"Nothing gets by you, does it, Neji?" I feel him shift nervously. Neji is never nervous…

"How… how will you know when…?" He can't seem to finish the question. Knowing that his thoughts are probably very similar to those I had initially, I make a decision.

"Neji." I look up at him and see the confusion in his snow white eyes. "Help me stand up, would you?"

He blinks, and then nods wordlessly. I only feel slightly wobbly as he puts my arm across his shoulders and pulls me to my feet. I'm able to walk, but I can tell that by the time we get back to the Leaf Village I won't be able to move a muscle. No matter, a week in bed is a small price to pay for the safety of my comrades. Though, that Akatsuki should never have been able to escape as he did. Working on the accuracy of the Mangekyo Sharingan needs to be my top priority as soon as I can train again.

Naruto and Gaara are already leading most of the Sand shinobi back in the direction of the desert. Sakura is walking somberly next to the body of Chiyo-baasama. Guy and Lee are talking to Kankuro. I would only have a few more minutes alone with Neji before Guy comes looking for me. Neji and I have slowly begun making our way toward them, but I stop and point towards a nearby tree. Understanding, Neji helps me to it and I lean against the rough bark with a sigh.

"Will you be alright?" Neji asks in his emotionless voice.

"No worries, I'll be as good as new with a little rest." Meeting his pure white gaze, I put my hand on his shoulder. "Neji, I know what you're thinking. How could I ever trust myself to reverse the wheel of fate, without knowing the consequences? Am I right?"

He takes a step back while brushing my hand from his shoulder before replying. "I used to think that a person's fate was predetermined… unchangeable." Looking towards the direction Naruto went, Neji's brow furrows in thought.

Since his loss to Naruto 3 years ago, Neji has learned a lot about taking control of his own destiny. Advancing to the rank of jonin at such a young age, he obviously took Naruto's success to heart and pushed himself hard. But, he still has a difficult time understanding other people's emotions. He's probably still trying to comprehend Chiyo-baasama's reasoning for giving up her own life in exchange for Gaara's.

Turning back toward me, Neji frowns. "I don't disagree with Chiyo-baasama's actions, but a person's destiny shouldn't be determined by anyone other than themselves… Naruto and my father taught me that."

I send him a small smile. "They would be happy to hear you say that." Sobering, I give him a stern glance. "But remember, shinobi don't always have that luxury. When someone takes the life of another, they are in fact stealing both their destiny and their dreams. That is what you must live with in this line of work."

"I know that, and I never kill unless absolutely necessary," retorts Neji harshly. Narrowing his eyes, he accusingly adds, "Nothing you've said explains why you would even consider using Chiyo-baasama's technique. Especially when the consequences of reversing death could be more severe than the death itself."

"Relax, Neji. I'm getting there." I gaze at the cloudless sky and sigh deeply. I need for him to fully grasp what I'm trying to teach him. His conscience won't allow me to have this power without him being absolutely certain I won't abuse it. And, I need to make sure he never asks me about this ever again. "You say you never kill unless absolutely necessary." I meet his piercing stare and quirk an eyebrow at him. "Well tell me then, what defines as absolutely necessary?"

"When the success of a mission depends upon it," he answers without missing a beat.

I wince inwardly at his robotic response taken straight from the Shinobi Rulebook. Well, this is Neji after all. I won't let him get away with just that. "Yes of course. But, that's not the only time, right?"

He knows exactly what I'm doing to him, and he is definitely not happy about it. At his annoyed growl, I just smile brightly at him. Scowling, he drops his gaze to the ground and crosses his arms. I've got him trapped, but I know he'll keep playing my little game so he can get the answer he desperately needs.

After a few seconds of silence, Neji closes his eyes and whispers, "When protecting the lives of my comrades and those important to me, like Lady Hinata." I almost didn't hear that last part, but I grin inwardly at his response. He certainly has learned much since his first Chunin Exam. I remember all too well having to restrain him from delivering a fatal blow to his blood cousin.

I move on, saving Neji any further embarrassment. "Right. Now, by your own words, using this technique could have more severe consequences than taking a life to protect what's important to you. So, can you think of a time when it would be worth it, regardless of the outcome?" I want him to reason it out, like I did.

His head snaps up and he sends me his best glare. "Fool, that's what I'm asking _you_!"

"Ah, right." I rub the back of my head cheerily, which only makes him angrier. He looks about ready to throw a punch, so I quickly raise my hand in appeasement. "Sorry, sorry, but Neji, you just saw the answer with your own eyes!"

At that, all anger leaves his face and he blinks stupidly. "Wha… when?" I wish I had a camera to capture this moment. The look of total bewilderment on the Hyuga would earn me several free meals from Guy, who was always trying to catch his former student off guard.

Meeting Neji's confused gaze, I put on a more serious expression. "Why did Chiyo-baasama revive Gaara? Can you tell me, Neji?" I know he has been struggling with this question, but I'm confident that even the emotionally challenged Hyuga genius can see the answer.

He hesitates, obviously trying to find the right words. "She mentioned the future… a future for the Sand and Leaf Villages, different from the past. She knew that the Kazekage was important for shaping that future… and Naruto too."

_Now we're getting somewhere,_ I think to myself. He's really pondering it now, so I stay silent to let him gather his thoughts.

"Having Gaara alive as the Kazekage will definitely increase the chance for a long term Sand-Leaf alliance, but that's not guaranteed. He could die tomorrow, after all." I wince at that observation, recognizing the harsh truth of it. Neji looks up at me, a lingering confusion still present. "Could she have been that naïve to sacrifice herself for just the _possibility_ of peace between our two lands?

He's not quite there, but I decide to let him off the hook. "Hmmm, I would say 'possibility' is the wrong word. Try 'hope' instead."

"Hope?" he repeats.

"Think about it from her point of view. She lived in a time where Leaf and Sand shinobi killed each other over the whims of a feudal lord. Things are different now. Borders are established and politics are kept relatively low key. And all of a sudden, she realizes that there are shinobi out there who not only care about the safety of their village, but also for the safety of their fellow shinobi. Seeing Naruto go so far to save Gaara taught her that."

I can tell Neji is still not convinced. He narrows his eyes at me and retorts, "Shinobi and peace simply do not mix. We will always be surrounded by war… and death."

"That may be true, especially with enemies like the Akatsuki running around." I lean my head back against the tree and fold my arms across my chest. "But, what are we fighting for if it's not for hope that future generations will live in a more peaceful world?"

Neji's eyes widen slightly and I see a flicker of understanding pass through them.

I reach out and grip his shoulder tightly. "Chiyo-baasama suffered through the pain of losing a son and a grandson to war. In Gaara, she saw the hope that future generations wouldn't have to suffer in the same way. Like you said, it could all be for naught, but if she was right…" I pause to take my hand from his shoulder and rub the back of my head with a smile. "Well, let's just say you won't be calling her naïve then."

Neji is now looking slightly chastised as he tries to find enlightenment from a tree root at his feet. "I get what you're saying… but, I'm sorry if I have a hard time holding that much hope for the future… this world is not a peaceful place."

I sigh regretfully and suddenly feel even more exhausted. "I know what the world looks like from your eyes, Neji. Believe me. But without hope, we have nothing, and you will learn to see that."

He slowly raises his head to look at me with interest. His snow-white gaze tries to see past my walls. Neji doesn't know much about my past, and he is wasting his time trying to read my emotions. We stare each other down for a minute and I sense him accept that he won't get anything out of me that I'm not willing to give. "So…" he finally breaks the suffocating silence. "You will act in the same way as Chiyo-baasama?" Voice dripping with sarcasm, he adds, "Use the technique with the slim hope that it will somehow change the world?"

He is being more close-minded than expected, but I get the feeling he's being hard headed with the hope that I reveal more about my past. Neji is shrewd like that. However, we've spent too much time talking as it is. If Neji doesn't accept my justification, so be it, but I can't have him revealing this secret to anyone. So I take a new approach. "Look, Neji. This isn't your burden." I narrow my visible eye at him and add, "It's mine."

Neji takes a step back in response to my threatening tone. I smirk inwardly. It's nice to know I can still intimidate these kids when I need to. Softening my expression slightly, I finally come clean with him. "Neji, I've been around a lot longer than you. I've lost almost everyone I've ever cared about to war and suffered just as much, if not more than Chiyo-baasama. I don't want you to ever have to worry about what we've discussed here today. So, I will promise you that I won't use her technique until I know that the time is right, just as she did. If you can't trust me to make that decision by now, then there is nothing more I can say."

Throughout my little speech, Neji keeps his face completely expressionless and I can't get a feel for his thoughts. He's almost as good as me at hiding his emotions. Almost. Again, we share a duel of stares. I'm starting to get very annoyed of the feeling that his snow-white eyes are peering into my soul. After a full minute, I'm about to break the silence with my request that he keep all this a secret when he completely surprises me.

"I trust you."

It's my turn to have a bewildered expression plastered on my face. I bet I look like a gutted fish, even with my mask. Guy would never let me hear the end of this if he saw me. Sure, I knew I would get Neji to accept what I did, but I never expected him to come out and _say_ it. Especially in such a direct way.

I'm still trying to come up with a response when he smirks at me. "And I won't tell anyone about this. You have my word on that." Great, now he's reading my mind too. Suddenly, it hits me. I've been had.

"You were just testing me weren't you?" I point my finger at him accusingly. "This whole time you were trying to get me to justify my reasoning to make sure I myself knew what I was doing!" His continued smirk is the only answer I need. Damn, I haven't been this humiliated since Naruto and Sakura took the bells from me. "So, you never had a problem with me copying the technique?"

His normal stoic expression has returned as he turns to fully face me. "Not really, but I was concerned that you weren't confident in your own judgment, especially after seeing your reaction when you realized what you had done."

Ah, so he knew my little dizzy spell wasn't just chakra related. I feel even more humiliated now… I should never have let my emotions take over like that.

My ears perk at the sound of Guy calling my name. He's obviously now searching for us, so I motion Neji to help me start walking again. My chakra-depleted body protests at the strain of moving, but I just grit my teeth and concentrate on putting on foot in front of the other. Neji is bearing more than half my weight, but he doesn't seem to notice. He's either deep in thought or simply basking in the success of being able to outwit me like he did. Knowing him, it's probably the latter…

He seems to sense my irritation, but his expression continues to be completely unreadable. This kid is really starting to get under my skin… I'm about to order him to stop gloating (even though he's not showing any signs of it) and remind him that I'm his superior (which is not true since we are both jonin) when he again takes me by surprise.

"Kakashi-sensei, I should thank you." What? Am I going deaf? I've never heard Neji refer to me, or anyone for that matter, as sensei. And he's _thanking _me? Luckily, he correctly deciphers my shocked silence as a request for an explanation.

Without looking at me he continues. "It's true that I manipulated you into defending your actions so that you would be more confident of your own reasoning. And although I never truly doubted your judgment, I really had no idea how you would justify ever using the technique." He pauses to give me a quick glance. "You have no reason to be ashamed of your initial reaction… I can't even fathom having to deal with this as you have."

I bow my head slightly in acceptance of the compliment he just gave me, but I'm still confused as to why he's thanking me. I can tell Neji is struggling in choosing his words. This is after all one of the longest speeches I've ever heard him give. He clears his throat and looks away from me before continuing. "You didn't directly say it, but I know that if you ever use the technique it will be to save one of us…" He doesn't need to explain what he means by 'us.' "For you to believe in us that much, to be willing to exchange your own life with the intention of providing a safer place for us and our children… for that reason, I thank you."

I feel my chest tighten with an unfamiliar emotion. I don't deserve this much respect or thanks, and yet I find comfort in it. I never would have thought Neji would be the one to understand, and for the first time today, I'm glad that he was able to figure out that I copied the technique. Knowing that at least one person will recognize what my sacrifice, if it ever happens, will truly mean, gives me peace. And somehow, I trust Neji to share that truth with the ones who will make my dream for the future a reality. But, I need to explain one more thing to him…

"Neji, there is no need to thank me. In fact, I should be thanking you." He turns toward me and lifts an eyebrow in question. I study the ground in an attempt to collect my thoughts. "I used to have no hope for the future of this world… everyone important to me was dead and I hated myself for not being able to protect them." I'm not usually comfortable talking about my past because all it does is remind me of my failures, but Neji needs to hear this. "It wasn't until I had Team 7 and was able to watch your generation grow to the point of surpassing us, that some of my hope returned. But to be honest, it wasn't until just now, during your little test…" I shoot him a half-hearted glare to show that I haven't quite forgiven him yet, "that I realized how much hope I do have."

I smile and curl my visible eye at him. "So, I'd say we're even, don't you think?"

He blinks in response to my unexpected offer, but then he smiles softly and bows his head in agreement. And just like that, nothing more needs to be said.

A newfound respect and understanding settles between us. As we continue our ever-slow trek toward the Sand Village, we are both at peace with the comfortable silence that has fallen. Unfortunately, we are only given a fleeting moment to enjoy it…

"There you are my rival!" I groan in annoyance… so much for peace and quiet.

Guy leaps out from the trees to block our path with his hands on his hips. "I have been searching high and low, worried that you had collapsed with the strain of besting me once more! And yet, here you are, perfectly cool, earning you yet another point in our eternal battle!"

Knowing Guy means well, all I can do is sigh in exasperation. He walks over to take my arm from Neji and I begin to dread listening to him for the entire journey back.

"Neji, you should be ashamed of yourself! Allowing yourself to fall so far behind when you are in the springtime of your youth! Kakashi, how could you let him do such a thing?" I ignore him and Neji just rolls his eyes before giving me a quick glance. I nod for him to go ahead. At least Neji can be spared the suffering I will have to endure. He smiles back gratefully before taking off through the trees.

Guy forces me to walk at a faster pace than before and I wince inwardly at the effort it takes, but I don't complain. Guy is already glaring at me for our slow progress. "See how I sacrifice my pride for you, Kakashi? The only reason I'm being so accepting is to make up for you having to save me in our recent victory over the abominable Akatsuki! This is a true test of my humility! And if I can survive, it will prove that I am more humble than you, thus giving me an extra point! What do you say to that, eh Kakashi?"

I know Guy too well. He's trying to lighten the mood with our usual banter, even giving me the perfect opening to respond with my normal nonchalance. However, my talk with Neji has me feeling grateful for all the good things in my life… which, I must admit, includes Guy's friendship. So instead, I smile sincerely and reply, "Thanks, Guy. You're a great friend."

Gaping, he stares at me in stunned silence and I can't help but laugh. He closes his mouth with a smack and looks at me in wonderment, probably trying to determine if I've lost my mind. But then the corners of his mouth lift with the ghost of a smile, realizing that for one of the few times in my life, I'm just _happy_.

His deep chuckles join mine and our laughter echoes through the trees. From somewhere above us, I feel Chiyo-baasama smile.

**The End**


End file.
